I am a single Mom of two. I haven't always been, it's a fairly recent development. Although the transition has been a difficult one I wouldn't change the way things have developed in my life. Being a single Mom has made me an even stronger woman than I already was. It has helped me grow even more as a mother. I'm going to be honest, things have been extremely difficult as a single mother, but that's really nothing new. Motherhood in general is hard, it's not all butterflies, tea parties, smiles, laughs, and princesses. It's full of sleepless nights, tantrums, cup after cup of coffee, watching the same show all day long for days on end.
People often tell you how lovely being a parent is, how you'll be filled with joy, love like never before, and everything will be so perfect. They. Lie. Yes being a parent is the best blessing in the world. But no one really tells you or can prepare you for becoming a parent. Let alone a single parent. It's something we adapt to. We learn at the same pace our children learn. You can read all the books in the world, take all the classes you want. But no matter how many crash courses you take, you will not be prepared for caring for another life every day, every minute, for the rest of your life and theirs.
All the diapers, cries that sound louder than the thoughts in your head, the moment you see that first smile, your child's first step, when you hear the first word. Your reaction is not something you can prepare for, it's not something you can anticipate. It will happen at a time you don't expect it. Labor comes when it's ready, your baby will sleep when it is ready, teeth grow in on their own time, walking happens on its own. Nothing about parenthood can be scheduled. You can't physically or mentally prepare for how you will feel, speak, or listen for any of those moments.
I don't feel as though I am a perfect Mom,. I don't meal plan, I don't always have my kids dressed first thing in the morning, I get frustrated easily, I don't cloth diaper, I don't keep the laundry cleaned and put away everyday. However I do show my children love, I do teach them right from wrong, I do play and dance with them, I do make sure they have what they need and want, I do my best and I will always be there for my children. When times get hard for me it shows. I don't sugar coat things, life is not a candy, and candy is what should be sugar coated. Parents have the right to see and share the good the bad, the beautiful and the ugly with the world. I used to think that showing the perfect things in life was the only way to be a parent. But that's not being a parent, that's sugar coating the truth. That's letting people believe I live a perfect life when I don't. In fact it's far from perfect, but I have my daughters and although they frustrate me at times and I have my break downs I wouldn't change the heart ache, head aches, tea parties, pink clothing, and coffee induced smiles for anything. We live our perfectly unperfect life together as a family. That's what parenting is, no sugar coating involved.
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